DON’T YOU HUMANS HAVE ANY SENSE OF LOYALTY?

Monday was a really nice day. Bill left the door to my office open so I could get out and enjoy some of the sun shine.

By the mid afternoon it was time for a nice cat nap so I went back into my office but with the door open it allowed other intruders. Evinrude came in and went straight for my food dish where he helped himself to my food. I let him know what I thought with a little growl and hiss but I didn’t feel like fighting for it so I went into the shop which is adjacent to my office.

I had just jumped up into the chair to take my nap when I heard Bill returning so after a bit of debate I thought I would honor him with my presence.

Bill was already seated by the time I entered my office and I walked over to him for a little attention. That is when I saw him holding Evinrude in his lap. Bill is my human and he was in my office holding another cat.

It was just more then I could take. Think about it ladies how would you respond if you walked in and saw your human sitting there with another lady on his lap. Would you think that was ok? We cats or at least this cat believes in loyalty and let me tell you I let him know. If he had not had leather boots and blue jeans on I would have left him with two bloody stubs to walk on.

I just don’t get it. If Bill is going to two time me at least he can do it somewhere else then in my own office.

MINUETS OF THE FIRST MEETING OF LUCOOM

September 13, 2007 at 2 PM Pacific Daylight time the first, and possible the last, meeting of LUCOOM (Leave Us Cats Out Of Metaphors) was called to order. Present were Sadie Cat, Mama Cat, D'Artagnan, and Evinrude all charter members. Robbie wanted to be admitted but we reminded him that the name was LUCOOM not LUROOM (Leave Us Rabbits Out Of Metaphors).

Robbie replied that it would be LAROOM (Leave All Rabbits Out Of Metaphors). D'Artagnan moved we change the name to LACOOM and Evinrude seconded the motion. Sadie Cat reminded them that before motions could be accepted they would first need to elect officers. Mama Cat hissed some unrepeatable words and the nomination of officers began.

Evinrude nominated Sadie Cat for all offices using a phrase common to all you humans, “makers uppers it.” D'Artagnan announced to everyone that until now Sadie Cat had not been able to spell his name correctly and thus he did not feel she qualified for any office.

Mama Cat nominated D'Artagnan for president and Evinrude seconded the nomination but D'Artagnan declined the nomination on the grounds that he did not have time.

Sadie Cat asked D'Artagnan what he did that made him so busy. All she was aware of was eat, drink, sleep, and dig holes in the dirt to be filled in when their purpose was completed. With that D'Artagnan stuck his tail straight up said he did not have to take that and left. Evinrude said he did not like my attitude and he too departed. Mama Cat just stuck her tongue out at me and left.

I don’t get it. Humans have clubs, churches, and other organizations. They can hold meetings and they don’t get mad about some silly little thing and leave or speak ill of each other. If humans can do it then cats should be able to do it better.

LUCOOM

I was reading one of Bill’s blogs on radio and he mentioned the use of cat’s whiskers in radios.

That made me mad. I was wet cat type of mad.

My thoughts were: Don’t people understand that God gave us those whiskers for a reason? I also couldn’t help but wonder if they pull them out by the roots or do they cut them off? There is that other animal they call “man’s best friend” and I call “animal’s biggest sellout”; they have whiskers why can’t they use them?

I let Bill know just how mad I was and to think he was trying to help more people to get involved in radio. I could just see more cats losing their whiskers.

Then Bill explained that a “cat’s whisker” was a small piece of wire usually springy or stiff. In the days of crystal radios, like a cat is suppose to know what a crystal radio is, they made “cat’s whiskers” out of safety pins (that was a device used to hold a diaper on a child who had not learned to use the sand box yet).

Why can’t you humans mean what you say and say what you mean? Why do you have to drag us cats into your metaphors? Like the one used to speak of driving a Caterpillar tractor, you humans call it “skinning a cat.” Baby tom cat did it ever make me cringe when I heard Bill talking to someone about when he used to “skin cats.”

I am thinking about starting a new organization. It will be called LUCOOM. Leave Us Cats Out Of Metaphors.

THAT IS ALL I NEED MORE BEEP BEEPERS!

How does he do it? Bill is running 10 different blog sites and if that was not enough now he is building a site to help people get their ham radio license. From 5 in the morning until after midnight he has been putting this program together. He is on our computer almost the whole time.

I need several cat naps during the day and though cats are suppose to be nocturnal Bill keeps me awake for so much of the day I have to sleep at night when he is gone. It is so hard for me to get to the computer that I have come to the conclusion that what I need is my own computer. Maybe then I could keep up with this blog (and maybe not).

Then there is this ham thing. Do you have any idea how much squeaking and squawking those radios make? I do not like the sound of them and I keep telling Bill I do not like them but he keeps running them just the same. He will run those radios during the day while he is working and listens to something he calls Morse code. To me it is just an annoying beep beep. When he tries to transmit to someone I make it a point to jump on his shoulder and meow just as loud as I can in his ear just to let him know how much I dislike those things. I have even been known to bite his ear but he just reaches up and strokes my head or leans his head over and nuzzles me and keeps on doing what he was doing.

Now he is trying to get more people out there he can beep beep with by starting those ham classes on the internet. He will be starting this class on 09/04/2007 on http://hamslife2.blogspot.com and I hope none of my readers go there or to his other site http://hamslife.blogspot.com because all I need is more beep beepers out there.

Bill went to answer the door and I hear him coming back now so I had better get off this keyboard or he will pick me up, pet my head, and put me on the floor and I would rather get on the floor on my own power.

HUMANS ARE UNIQUE CREATURES

You humans are unique creatures in so many ways. You have abilities that neither we cats nor any other animal have. You can reach out and help others not only of your own species but also those of us who are not of your species.

Disaster hits and you will rush around the world to help your own who are in need. While your own kind are in need there are other fellow travelers of this world who also need help and some of you reach out to them.

To illustrate what I mean let me tell you about a young couple, Steve and Terra Irwin. These two wonderful animal loving people were married on June 4, 1992 with a planned honeymoon to follow.

Now for you cats and other animal readers I know we don’t understand but to humans marriages and honeymoons are very important times in their lives. They have this big ceremony where they stand in front of a lot of people where someone asks them, “do you?” and they say, “I do.” Then after they eat some cake they leave all the people to clean up while they go spend a few days somewhere where they can get away from all those people they invited to come see them say “I do” and were nice enough to clean up after they eat some cake.

Now if you want to see those two leave that location in two separate vehicles, this time without tin cans, just let the husband ask his bride if he can cut the honeymoon short so he can go save some crocodiles. That would be the point where most women would say bye bye.

Not Terri, when Steve heard that some crocodiles needed help he asked her that very question and she was quick to agree and even went with him to help.

Humans it is up to you to help your fellow travelers but to do this it usually takes a thing called money. There are so many organizations out there who are trying to help people, animals, and even plants who need money to accomplish their goal. Thee are so many good people who are trying to raise money by asking others to help that it becomes very difficult for humans to know which ones to contribute and which to say no. I hear Bill on the phone almost everyday having to tell someone he just can’t help and I can see the pain it causes him because he really wants to help but he can’t help everybody.

Now someone came up with a way where you humans can sell things around the house they no longer need or they can buy things they would like to have that someone else is selling and help your own kind and others at the same time. It is called Mission Fish. It is part of a marketing group called eBay. When these sellers sell their item part or all of the money received from the bid is sent directly to the organization.

Maybe you know an organization that help fellow travelers and would like to be added to this link. If so please let me know via the comment portion and I will check it out and possibly add it to the “SITES HELPING FELLOW TRAVELERS OF THIS WORLD”. I am sorry that I can’t add everybody, there are just too many good worthy organizations but I have room to ad a few.

Speaking of Mission fish I think I smell fish. Bill must be fixing supper so I had better go before Evinrude steals it.

CATS ARE CREATED BEINGS

Many humans say they are the product of evolution and that they descended from an ape which descended from some other animal. This system of belief includes, which based on faith and not facts, includes that somewhere down that line of evolution humans and cats are related. (Before someone gets angry about saying that this is a system of belief then just read about evolution by those who believe in evolution and see how many times they say, “we think,” or “we believe.”)

Well humans may believe they related to some lower order of animal but we cats are not related to humans. I can prove that we are created by an intelligent being.

If you were to go for a walk in the woods and walked into an area where all the trees are in organized rows; each tree is an equal distance from the other tree. Would you say, “Isn’t it interesting how all these randomly scattered seeds came up in such an organized manor?” Surely you would recognize that these trees were planted by someone.

Now while holding your kitty and showing how much you adore her look at her whiskers. There is not a random scattering here but organized rows. This did not happen by chance but just as the trees in the woods they are placed there by design. Design requires a designer.

RESEARCH SAYS, “CAT’S CLAW REDUCES SIDE EFFECTS OF CHEMO THERAPY!”

I was doing a little internet surfing today and found something that left me in panic. Researchers are now saying that cat’s claws can reduce the side effects of chemo therapy. I can see it now all those poor kitties having to donate their claws just so humans can feel better. Millions of cats around the world without claws to defend them selves against those mangy low life animals that like to chase them, or reliving tension by exercising them on the couch. Just think they would not be able to reach out and swat their human subjects just for the fun of it or to let them know when they disapprove of something. How can they climb a tree without claws? This could put the police and fire departments in jeopardy of being put out of business because they would lose their main purpose.

I could see pharmaceutical companies grinding those claws into powder and giving it to people. Then it struck me that maybe they were letting the test cats claw people on chemo therapy and thus the pain from those scratches make them forget the pain of the chemo. Wow that sounds like fun. What a job!

I knew this was something that needed to be researched further. I was a little relived to learn that “cat’s claw’ is the name of a plant but I was also disappointed that there would be no work for me clawing people. Bill is still the only person I get to use my claws on.

CAT BATH

Humans use the phrase “cat bath” to mean a quick cleansing using a wash cloth. It is not really a bath to humans but just a wash-up. The reason for this definition of the “cat bath” allegory is because we cats use our tongue to clean up. We don’t like water. We don’t need soap.

Now if you humans want to get into water that is your business but why do humans think they have to put cats into water, use soap, and soak those poor kitties to the skin?

Call me a cab. Cat Against Baths

I HAVE BEEN A BAAAAD KITTY

ROOMMATE ROBBIE RABBIT

It seems like that I am such a busy kitty what with all my eating, drinking, sleeping, more sleeping, and keeping Bill annoyed I just don’t seem to get to my blog. I am sorry I have been such a bad kitty about these blogs.

The other day Bill let Robbie, my rabbit roommate, out of his cage. Bill felt he needed to stretch his legs and he has not taken him out on the leach much lately. I found out that he is dumber then a d o g. He will hop away from Bill when he is trying to give him a little attention and if Bill continues to pursue him he will go back into his cage.

I think the little romps in the office are over though. He was chewing on cords and Bill was trying to teach him to stop when he was told to but he just keeps on chewing. Now I will admit I destroyed my share of cords, like the phone cord, ear phone cords, and more, but I had enough sense to do it when Bill was not looking and if he did see me I would stop when he told me to stop. But not Robbie so Bill is trying to find some other way for him to exercise.

For those of you who were wondering, Evinrude’s eye healed fine and he is doing OK.

I think I hear a cat nap calling me. I better go check on it.

FINALY I GOT MY OFFICE BACK

It seems that Evinrude got a piece of foxtail, a local wild grass seed, in his eye. Well Bill being as he is had to take care of him and I got kicked out of MY office again. This is my home. I live here so why do I get kicked out?

Bill says that it is because he is afraid that if he leaves Evinrude in the shop that he might damage something and he trusts me. Did I tell you that Bill is a ham radio operator? So he has some very delicate equipment in the shop. Wait until sees the wire I chewed through and the little deposit I left in the middle of his work bench. Maybe next time he won’t trust me so much.

Evinrude got better and is back outside.

That is enough on that subject. Bill now sings his little song to me again. I guess I didn’t tell you about Bill’s song. He made it up just for me. He says the tune is something called “Nick Knack Paddy Whack” or something like that. It goes, “I love you, you love me were as happy as a flee on a cat’s back we nothing lack we live a life that’s free and go along so merrily.

Speaking of flee I have an itch and think I will go scratch. I will try to get back quicker next time if some one doesn’t kick me out of my office again

OK SO I MADE A MISTAKE

Okay so I made a mistake last week. I don’t get out much so how was I to know those were skunks?

Bill saw last weeks post and explained to me that they were only adopted by the mother cat that had just launched her brood into the world. The baby skunks’ mother was killed so the little stinkers were adopted by the momma cat. He also explained that the smell that was so bad the other night was from a skunk that had been frightened.

Tom kitten (boy) is that mother cat in for a surprise.

IT JUST DON’T LOOK RIGHT TO ME

It sure feels good to be back in my office and Bill moved my long eared room-mate.

I was looking in Bill’s computer My Picture file and ran across the above photo. There is something in that photo that does not make scents. Those kittens sure did not get their looks from their mother. I just don’t understand what kind of cat their father is and why should they all look like him? There is something that just does not smell right about that picture!

Well I have to go now.

I FEEL UNLOVED

Well I am late again but really it is not my fault. The last few days I have not been able to get to the computer. Bill kicked me out of my office into the shop in back of my office so he could bring Evinrude inside. It seems Evinrude had an infection and Bill wanted to keep him in so he could watch and treat the infection. I still can’t believe he kicked me out of my own office. Evinrude is better now so he is back outside and Bill has let me back in my office.

I learned something while Bill was watching the history channel on TV. They were discussing some place called Egypt. They were talking about how they built pyramids something in which I have no interest but then they said that they worshiped cats. They really were smart. They really knew the value of the cat. To bad people don’t still understand just how great we are.

I can’t believe what I just saw on TV. Channel 10 in Sacramento has a section in their 10 PM news called buy it and try it. The idea is to try products that are advertised and see if they really do what they say they will. Well tonight they tried a product called Ssscat. It is a pressurized can of water with a sensor. The idea is when a cat goes where humans don’t want them they set one of these devises there and when the cat approaches the area and crosses in the sensing zone it sprays the cat with WATER. I say that is no way to treat a cat but Bill says it does not hurt the cat and it can be used to protect the cat. Doesn’t he know that spraying a cat with water is torture? Check it out for your self at http://www.ssscat.com/ and tell me what you think.

Well it is time for a cat nap.

A LONG EARED ROOM MATE

A week ago Sunday Bill came dragging a cage into my office there was a long eared creature in it. My first thought was that it must be a Vulcan cat or something like that. Bill set the cage on the floor while he cleared a space for it and I got close enough to get a good smell of the thing. I knew then that this was no cat of any kind. Some times the eyes can be fooled but not the nose because the nose knows. The smell would be closer to a big mouse then a cat but it wasn’t a mouse smell either. That means it smelled more like food then friend.

Bill then took a dish out of the cage and poured some food in it. I thought it might be interesting to try a little cross culture dining so I jumped up on the desk where Bill was pouring the stuff into the dish and it was my nose that saved me from what has to be the worse possible excuse for food I have ever smelled. There was no way I was going to taste that stuff.

Bill said it is a rabbit but to me it is just a long eared room mate and I don’t need a room mate with long or short ears. What really makes me mad is the attention Bill gives that thing. He will take it out of its cage and hold it and pet it. I am supposed to be the only one he holds and pets. I let him know that I am the cat here. When he holds that thing I claw his legs then I jump on his shoulders and squall in his ears but it does not seem to faze him because he will pat my head and go on living that long eared short tailed excuse for a pet.

As I have said before I am the office cat and I am doing every thing I know to do to convince Bill that we don’t need an office rabbit.

WHEN YOU WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE

Human readers let me give you some advice. If you want someone who will eat anything you give him; if you want anyone who will go with you anywhere at anytime for as long as you want; if you want someone who will lay right next to you and snuggle up as close as possible and watch anything on TV you want to watch; if you want someone who considers it a privilege to warm your feet while you are in bed and wont complain or claw and bite your foot when disturbed by you moving your feet; if you want someone who doesn’t care who you are, what you look like, how much money you make, how old you are or how young and no matter what will always cherish you with an unconditional love; if you want a sellout, spineless, and just plane disgusting individual like that then get a d-o-g.

But if you want someone who is strong, brave, and independent, someone who ignore you totally when you want some attention; yes if you want that outstanding individual who will leave hair all over the house and knows that your only reason for existence it to make her happy then you need a cat.

This totally impartial and unbiased opinion is brought to you by Sadie Cat.

HUMANS ARE WEIRD!

Hi it is me again. I am sorry I have not been keeping up with my blog. Bill has been so busy at the computer the past few days that I have not been able to get to it. He starts on it at 6 or 7 in the morning and keeps at it until midnight, something to do with starting a business.

Something is on my mind today. I just can not understand humans. When I say humans are weird I mean totally weird. You humans reading probably won’t understand but cats will understand exactly what I mean. If there are any d.o.g.s. reading this you won’t understand because you are a complete sell out to humans unlike us cats who keep our independence.

Well here is the thing that happened yesterday. The night before a mouse, yum, came sneaking in the office. He thought he could get past me and find a warm place to spend the night. No mouse gets past me. When I got tired of playing with it and started having a late night snack it came to me that Bill really does treat me nice but don’t tell him I said that. He gives me food, water, and lots of love so here is my chance to show him I appreciate him.

I left the back half of the mouse and that, as all you cats know, is the best part. I am drooling just thinking about it.

When Bill came in at 6:30 that morning I presented him with my delicious treasure. He made some comment about it being grouse and then he swept it into a dust pan and took it to the outside trash. He never said thank you or any other words of appreciation. The least he could have done was give it back to me. What a waist of perfectly good mouse hind quarters.

What is it with you humans? Don’t you like little treats? Humans are just plain weird!

I AM MAD

Yes I am mad. I am hissing, growling, and biting mad. Bill has four posts on this same account and he found out that all his posts were signed by me. So he went in and deleted MY profile. Hay I have more visitors then he does so why should he have the controls?

Well any way just because you may see his name it is ME and not him.

THE REAL TRUTH

This has been fun. I have received emails and I may have my photo in Kat’s Cat of the Day . Itrice, Bill’s sister, told me that Malli-Auli and Little Bit, her two kitties, really enjoyed it.

Today I just want to let you in on a secret. Don’t tell anyone else because this is just between you and me. Okay?

Have you ever noticed how cats will find the person in a room that dislikes cats the most and then will jump in their lap or rub on their lags? Oh yes we will purr just as loud as we can.

Cat psychologists say that the reason for this is people who like cats will move towards the cat or reach for the cat. The cat sees this as aggression and will move away but people who don’t like cats will not make such jesters and thus there is no sense of aggression. So they just naturally move towards the least aggressive person.

Boy a lot they know. I think they are d-o-g psychologists because they are so far off base it isn’t funny.

Here is the real truth. We cats are very independent. Now you know how we like to torment mice well it is not only mice we enjoy tormenting. So you see we know who it is that does not like cats and so we don’t like them and what is the worst thing we could do to them? That is right, jump right in the middle of their lap. Some of us will even give them a nice big kitty kiss (lick). That is really fun especially if we can get them in the mouth. Boy they will spit and sputter. We just have so much fun with that!

So if you don’t like cats, when you see a strange cat, call or reach for the kitty if you want him or her to leave you alone.

A BLOG BY A CAT? It is better then a d-o-g.

Well here I sit. Keyboard in paw I am going to try this blogging thing. Bill, whose office I live in, is helping me a little.

I live in this office and well I don't get out much but I do have some stories to tell and Bill has told me some stories that I will pass on to you. Momma Cat sometimes stands at the office door and tells me what is going on out there, you know, outside.

Last night Momma Cat was telling me a story. Evinrude, who is the only cat allowed in the big house, but anyway Evinrude was in the house, Oh I better back up because you don't know yet. Bill is not the only one who lives in the big house, his wife Dottie also lives there. They are an old couple. He is about 256 cat years and she is 244 cat years old. Dottie doesn't like cats, that is why I was sent out here, I use to live in the big house. Well it seems like Evinrude was in the house and Dottie was sitting in the lounge chair catching a few Zs. Evinrude started to eye Dottie and Bill knew what he was thinking. Bill said, "You had better not if you want to live." Well he didn't listen; he started to run towards Dottie and jumped right in the middle of her, then ran up and nuzzled her face. I think he lost 4 of his 9 lives.

Well I have to go now but I will be back and give you some more kitty tidbits.