IT'S THE LAW

Anything you have that is not nailed down is the cat's toy.

Basic Rules for Dogs Who Have a Yard To Protect

NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front yard, always use the newspaper that's placed in the driveway every morning for that purpose.

VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.

BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark -- a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night and hearing your protective bark, bark, bark...

LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a towel.

HOLES: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll think it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.

DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep.

THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.

DINING ETIQUETTE: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when there are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It's also a good time to practice your sniffing.

HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible.

GOING FOR WALKS: Rules of the road: When out for a walk with your master or mistress, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.

COUCHES: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch after all your humans have gone to bed.

PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself.

CHASING CATS: When chasing cats, make sure you never--- quite--- catch them. It spoils all the fun.

CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry. ...Eat a shoe.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CAT'S LIFE AND DOG'S LIFE

The Life of a Cat

Day 283 Of My Captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
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The Life of a Dog

8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

9:40 am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!

10:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!

4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

5:00 pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

5:30 pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!

6:00 pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6:30 pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

COMPUTER CAT CRASH

I am having problems posting Sadie's blog today.
Something has crashed on my computer and the mouse is missing. . .




Belly stroke clears problem. Now to get the bleading stopped. (Moral of story: Never use a bare hand to tickle a sleeping cat's.)

I WOULD LIKE TO DEVELOP A CAT LOVE’S NETWORK.

Recently I received an email from my daughter with an invitation to join Yuwie. After looking at it, at her recommendation, I joined but then tried to understand what it was I joined. After becoming totally confused and receiving several emails from strangers wanting to be my friend I called my daughter and asked her what it was. She said she didn’t know either and she had not received all the emails.

Finally I wrote to Yuwie support and asked them. I received, in part, the following reply, “Yuwie is a social networking site that pays its users. We share our advertising revenue with our members… Basically we pay for page views, yours and those of your referrals.”

The best I can understand is it is a way for people with common interests to maintain contact and pass information. They have people who advertise on their site and when someone visits a member’s page they pay that member part of the commission they receive from the advertiser for showing the page.

There is a profile page and after people read the profile page if they share common interests they can invite them to be a friend. I received over 45 requests to be a friend but after looking at their profile pages I don’t think most of them read my profile page because I could not find any common interests. My daughter said she did not fill in the profile page and that may be the reason she did not get all those requests.

After all that is said I come to the point. It might be fun to develop a group of friends who share my love for cats. We can swap stories, pictures, advice, and just have fun. We may make a little money along the way and that is ok with me because cat food costs money. If making money does not interest you that is fine because you could donate any money you make to a cat shelter because they could sure use it. They need to buy cat food too.

You can learn more by going to http://r.yuwie.com/wa6ohp and view the video.

SAD NEWS

This is Bill writing this post to pass on some sad news.

After the last post Sadie wrote somehow she managed to get outside while I was leaving for the night and she and Evinrude managed to get together. The result was five of the most beautiful kittens you ever saw. I helped deliver them and was there through the whole time they were growing and when they reached 9 weeks they each received an operation so they would not add to the cat population explosion then I found homes for each one. Sadie also received an operation.

A few days after the operation I let here go outside with me and she would stick with me constantly. Dottie, my wife, did not want her in the house so she would have to be locked in the office every time I went in.

One night I put her in the office as I had done every night but somehow, like before she slipped out as I was leaving. The next morning she was not in the office and as I searched for her I found her lying in the neighbor’s yard. The neighbor has two large huskies and they will kill cats that get into their yard so I lost Sadie.

You don't need to tell me I know I should have been more careful and it was my fault.

Sense loosing her it took me a few weeks before I was even able to return to the office and even longer before I was able to write this blog post. I loved her and I miss her.

I am going to try to keep up the post in her memory as much as possible.

DON’T YOU HUMANS HAVE ANY SENSE OF LOYALTY?

Monday was a really nice day. Bill left the door to my office open so I could get out and enjoy some of the sun shine.

By the mid afternoon it was time for a nice cat nap so I went back into my office but with the door open it allowed other intruders. Evinrude came in and went straight for my food dish where he helped himself to my food. I let him know what I thought with a little growl and hiss but I didn’t feel like fighting for it so I went into the shop which is adjacent to my office.

I had just jumped up into the chair to take my nap when I heard Bill returning so after a bit of debate I thought I would honor him with my presence.

Bill was already seated by the time I entered my office and I walked over to him for a little attention. That is when I saw him holding Evinrude in his lap. Bill is my human and he was in my office holding another cat.

It was just more then I could take. Think about it ladies how would you respond if you walked in and saw your human sitting there with another lady on his lap. Would you think that was ok? We cats or at least this cat believes in loyalty and let me tell you I let him know. If he had not had leather boots and blue jeans on I would have left him with two bloody stubs to walk on.

I just don’t get it. If Bill is going to two time me at least he can do it somewhere else then in my own office.